“Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.” – Brian Tracy
Do you remember having difficulty initiating a conversation in your first days of marriage with your spouse? Yes, it’s possible! This is a common occurrence. We all have been through it. It is easier to communicate with your partner in a love marriage than in an arranged marriage. Effective communication is key to the long-term success of a relationship, regardless of whether it’s an arranged marriage or a love marriage.
Varun was Anusha’s husband. It has been nearly six months since they were married. It was a time of many changes in their lives, habits, cultures, and customs …… It was difficult for her to adjust to the new environment, and problems with her mother-in-law, and felt constantly scrutinized. She was completely anxious about this. She wanted to share this with her husband and discuss other aspects of intimacy. She was having trouble talking to her husband because she was afraid of being ridiculed or rejected by him. This would hurt the honeymoon phase. For the moment, she found silence to be the best way to handle her situation. But it seemed like a never-ending story, which exacerbated her mental and physical health.
Anusha could have spoken softly to him in this situation. She could also bring up her problems to his attention and tell him about them. She could have talked to him about a strategy or plan to help her adjust and he could have supported her. This can be a difficult situation as not all husbands will understand and offer support. They may prefer to dismiss this as initial adjustment issues as if they were nothing. Talking to your partner can help to clear the air and calm the negative feelings that have built up in the relationship.
The couple may have dated for months or even years before they get married. They got to know each other well before they decided to tie the knot. Communication is therefore not an issue since they know each other well so there is less room for misunderstandings.
Love marriage vs. arrange marriage
An arranged marriage is one in which both partners come from different families, have different upbringings, and are of different cultures. The initial days of marriage are filled with excitement at exploring one another, so communication is a secondary concern. As the first shades of love fade, other problems emerge. Communication is key here. It can be difficult to accept each other’s differences and needs because the couples come from different backgrounds. Family pressures can make them mute, which puts unnecessary pressure on their young minds. They may even end up offending each other.
Effective communication is essential in any relationship
Effective communication is a skill that must be learned to maintain a harmonious relationship. Communication is key to the success and longevity of a marriage, regardless of whether it’s an arranged marriage or a loving marriage. It also helps maintain the dignity of the relationship. Communication can be divided into two types:
Active communication
Sometimes partners need to talk one-on-one about issues. Active communication involves both partners in healthy discussions. This type of communication is more effective than burying your feelings. Any couple should practice active communication. However, it is important to control one’s emotions, words and behavior so that your partner does not become offended.
Passive communication
Many issues cannot be discussed face-to-face. Sometimes the discussion becomes heated and degenerates. It turns into a nasty spit spat. This is a huge problem for couples who want to have a future discussion. Passive communication works miracles in such situations. Passive communication can be described as messaging via wats app or SMS and the writing of short notes or letters. Because the mind, body, and hand are all in perfect harmony while writing, this is very effective. Therefore, a person should avoid using unparliamentary language. This ensures that the message is effectively delivered and understood better.
Communication is essential
If emotions and concerns are expressed in the wrong way, it can cause more damage than good. Effective communication is key to harmony in the marriage. This includes the choice of words and presentation, as well as how one addresses the issue without offending the partner. Effective communication can help you to deal with many issues in your marriage.
- Questions concerning in-laws
- Adjustment questions
- Intimacy issues
- Other aspects and financial
- Several partner habits that seem to cause problems are problematic
- In-laws and relatives can be a problem
- Cultural differences
- Parenting and children
- Other family issues that can affect marital arrangements
- Talking for a while can help you sort out many other issues.
How to communicate with your partner effectively
“Two monologues do not make a dialogue.” – Jeff Daly
It is important to establish the intention of the couple before they start communicating. This will allow them to stay on the topic.
Note down the points you wish to discuss
Although it might seem a bit dramatic and unpractical, this is when you need to address multiple issues.
Reserve a time and day to discuss the issues
Communication between partners can be hampered by the inability to find the time to discuss issues together. Petty issues can pile up, making it difficult to deal with all of them at once. It is crucial to set aside time.
Pay attention to the tone and words
The tone is a key factor in bringing attention to the object. The tone is a reflection of inner emotions. Abusive words can offend the partner and leave no room for communication. This can lead to an avoidant tendency in the partner.
Be a good listener
You should give each other the chance to express your views “for” and “against” the issues. This is a discussion, not a debate. Be a good listener.
Avoid procrastination
Another obstacle to resolving marital problems is procrastination. This can lead to miscommunication, falling out, breaking apart, or even divorce.
Do not drag parents and in-laws
A major act of hurting one another in a relationship is dragging the parents and in-laws into the discussion. They may be a cause of concern, hence discussion might be unavoidable but one must be mindful of the words being used while addressing them and the concerns relating to them.
You can work things out amicably
Remember that it is important to have a productive discussion and resolve issues in a friendly manner. Talks should not become a conflict situation. Be diplomatic if the issues are controversial.
Acceptance
It is more acceptable to accept that the partners have different personalities and come from different families. It will take time to learn new skills, adhere to new regulations and follow customs at the place of your in-laws.
Try to imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes
There are always other sides to the coin. One person might find a particular condition difficult or intimidating, while another might find it silly. Try to put yourself in the shoes of your partner, and understand their perspective.
Non- judgemental approach
Two people can have different perspectives and behaviors. It might be six for one person, while it might be nine for another. It is important to listen to your partner, be non-judgemental, and offer a solution.
Be the shoulder of support
Sometimes, it’s just not in our control to deal with certain situations in our lives. Sometimes it can be difficult to support the spouse, parents, or anyone else in a situation that makes the partner feel insecure or troubled. Your partner should always have someone to cry to when they are feeling down. Avoid emotional support and moral support. Listening to your partner can help them vent their frustrations. You will strengthen your relationship and grow closer each day.
It doesn’t matter what the cause or reason for conflict is, it is in the best interest of the couple to solve them as quickly as possible. It takes a bit of maturity, thought process, and optimism to do this. It takes two people to make or break any relationship. It’s a good idea to make it because life is better when you are together on a journey called marriage. Peter Druker is right to say that.
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter Drucker
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